


I'm so desperately in love with you // Norenmin

by xRenx



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Cooking, Cute, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, M/M, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Other, Polyamory, Renjun's in love with Nomin, Sweet, insecure renjun, lots of fluff, nomin, very light angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2020-05-18 12:40:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19334719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xRenx/pseuds/xRenx
Summary: Renjun is quite desperate for love, but he wouldn't reveal it to you if you asked. Not even if you were his best friend, meeting up with him every day and sharing every little thing with each other. He does make it obvious though, even if he thinks he's trying to be secretive. Even the targets of his love attraction are aware of his crush (they really have no idea how much the small boy's heart wants to burst out of his chest when they smile), trying to get his attention too.Renjun gets into a small accident with a tea-cup and so is prohibited from dancing and has a bit too much time to think and a bit too realistic nightmares to accompany him, which the couple (and Donghyuck) try to make better, even if the small boy refuses to believe it.Domestic Dream ficNomin being anything but subtle with their crush on RenjunBroken mugs and feverNot actual angstThis is not the greatest masterpiece of my language skills, but English is not my first language nor do I use it every day, so I apologize for the simple structure.Might be a bit slow burn





	1. Hot chocolate

_Your small wing movements, my attraction to you_

_Your hand gestures like you’re telling me to follow you_

_Your earnest eyes and your silent stories_

_Whirled together on that night_

_In your deep image I lost myself_

_And my one and only soul_

_Completely drunk in your body movements_

_That I forgot to even breathe_

 

Gentle melody lured into Renjun’s ears, lulling him into somewhere between sleep and consciousness, yet it wasn’t slow enough to actually give him the bliss of sleep, no matter how tired he was. Lashes hovering over his almost closed eyes, blurring his sight, only showing a mess of colours of the polaroid pictures and small stars that shone in the dark in the ceiling, reminding him, that the darkness wasn’t nearly as frightening as it sometimes seemed to be. The silky sheets caressed his cheeks and ears - his head sunken deep into the soft pillow – and his naked arms that were exposed from under the yellow-brown-green striped t-shirt. It was calm, the room was empty at least for a while, no one being in the need of bothering him for something small or big. The moment was almost serene.

It really was, since after a few minutes of that serenity, came the bright laugh and screaming from the maknaes, and a shout from what sounded to be Jaemin. It was time for Renjun to get up again. He spent a few seconds collecting his thoughts, that he had let to splatter around inside his head to let himself relax. Just like he would collect his belongings, he collected his thoughts into their respectful boxes inside his head, locking away those, that he absolutely didn’t want to let slip past his lips in a relaxed moment when he was being a bit more irresponsible. He had just enough time to pull out his earphones when the door of his room was banged open by none other than Jisung, who was pulling the giggling Chenle after him. Renjun got up to sit on the bed, straightening his shirt a bit and put on his best tender but enthusiastic smile, looking at the duo with questioning eyes.

“Hyung!! You don’t believe what just happened!!” Chenle half shouted.

“We were sneaking to the kitchen to make some hot chocolate, since we could smell Jaemin hyung making some for him and Jeno, and well Jaemin didn’t hear us coming, so we decided to try and scare him and-“ a series of giggles was followed by that sentence, Renjun already shaking his head, “we scared him just when he was taking the cocoa powder, and he accidentally threw the whole cup on himself!! Now there’s cocoa powder and pieces of the mug around the kitchen”, Jisung laughed, but his laugh was starting to fade a bit, as Renjun looked at him with a meaningful stare, like asking why they didn’t try helping the other two in the kitchen.

“We did apologize to him, don’t worry, but he was just so funny looking covered in cocoa powder!” Chenle waved his hands in the air, as he dragged Jisung towards the younger one’s room while Renjun got up to check the situation in the kitchen. He ran down the stairs, smile plastered on his face to show his best side to his friends. Friends...

Upon arriving at the kitchen Renjun saw the mess the two maknaes had managed to create. There, beside the dining table was a shattered mug, covered in cocoa powder, a footprint on the side, clear from the cocoa powder as that was probably where Jaemin had stood at. After looking at the floor, Renjun lifted his head up to meet eyes with a worried looking Jeno holding calm and smiling Jaemin tightly on his hold on his lap, though Renjun figured his smile was a bit more irritated rather than amused. Renjun’s heartbeat sped up at the sight. How could someone look so simply breath-taking covered in cocoa powder?! He glanced at Jaemin’s feet and saw them half covered in cocoa powder, but he was more concerned about the few small cuts on his left foot.

“Jaemin-ah, are you alright?” Renjun asked with a slight worry in his voice, as he walked closer to the pair sitting on a chair a bit farther away from the table.

“Hyung watch your feet”, was what came out of Jeno’s voice before Jaemin had time to answer, as Renjun made his way towards the younger two. Renjun did look where he stepped, but that didn’t prevent him from stepping into a piece of glass nonetheless. That, however, he did not tell his friends in front of him. He just put on a smile, stepping forward, closer to Jaemin and Jeno, feeling the little piece of glass sinking further into his flesh.

“Hyung are you sure you didn’t step on anything?” Jeno asked suspiciously, apparently having seen the crack on Renjun’s calm face as he has stepped on the piece of glass. Renjun’s heart made another flip.

“Yeah Jeno I’m fine”, Renjun chuckled to make the other convinced. “Now, Jaemin you seem to have a few small cuts on your foot, and of course some cocoa powder here and there, so why don’t you go and get cleaned up and let Jeno help you with cleaning and bandaging the cuts, while I clean up the kitchen and make some hot chocolate for us all while you’re away”, Renjun smiled his most sincere smile he could at a moment like this, and shooed the young couple away. “Why did you even have a third cup, there’s only two of you anyway”, he chuckled, but he could’ve sworn his heart got another shot from Amor when Jaemin turned around, smiling with his slightly dirty face. “We were making one for you of course.” That sentence made Renjun want to believe, that maybe his love for the others wasn’t as unrequited as he thought it to be. But it simply couldn’t be.

Yes, Renjun was helplessly in love with not one, but two of his best friends, who also happened to be a couple themselves. The thought on its own made Renjun cringe, it was such a cliché to be in love with your best friend, not even talking about that there was two of them, and they were already a couple. Renjun had even helped those two to become a pair, by convincing them to confess to each other. Yes, it had made his heart ache probably worse than ever, barely being able to hold himself together for the mere few minutes it took for the young couple to tell him the news, but he was happy nonetheless. He wanted to be happy. Happy, that his friends could love each other, and be so happy, even without him. What made his unrequited love even worse than seeing the couple happy, were moments like this, when either or both of them would look at Renjun deep in the eyes and say something unbelievably nice, making him want to run to that person and hug them while pampering them with kisses.

Renjun sighed, waiting that the two guys that made his heart beat unnaturally fast, had disappeared from the kitchen before he turned to look at his feet. The pain on his right foot had made his whole foot numb, but when he stepped up from the place he was standing at, a stinging pain climbed up his leg to his knee, making him wince. Frantically looking around that no one heard him, Renjun made his way to the bathroom beside the kitchen as fast as he could. Jaemin and Jeno went upstairs to the other bathroom, so Renjun had just enough time to clean his foot before they’d come down, knowing the kids wouldn’t mind when he cleaned the kitchen anyway. He doubted Jaemin and Jeno would either, they’d just think he went to the toilet like a normal person would and would continue cleaning after that, but for some reason, Renjun wanted to hide what he did.

He was glad he had black socks on, since the little bit of blood that had seeped out of his wound, wasn’t showing. Pulling his sock off gently, wincing a bit as it got stuck on the piece of glass, due to it making a hole to the fabric as it had sunk into his foot, he examined the wound. It looked nasty, a piece of glass the size of the tip of his index finger sunken into his sole. Renjun was hesitant to pull it out, but eventually he’d have to do it, so he just bit down his teeth, taking a wet paper and pulled the piece of glass out with it. Blood started to gush out of the wound immediately, making Renjun panic and quickly turn his foot towards the shower from where he was sitting on top of the toilet. He wouldn’t want to have to clean up the whole bathroom from the blood. He quickly rolled a few pieces of toilet paper to his hand, pressing them on his foot, while reaching for the emergency bag that he had earlier taken from the cabinet, searching for gauze to his hands. Again, he was thanking himself for taking black socks in the morning, since they would be able to cover the gauze he had now succeeded to put on his foot, making sure to get rid of the other evidence after that. Now was just a time to act like nothing happened, Renjun thought, as he exited the bathroom, making his way back to the kitchen to clean up the mess.

Renjun had to admit, it hurt like hell every time he stepped on the foot, but he just didn’t want to take the risk that someone would walk into the room and question his limping. He took the small vacuum cleaner from the cabinet below the sink and started vacuuming away the cocoa powder and glass from the floor so that no one else would step on it anymore, wiping the part where the mug had fallen with wet cloth afterwards, so that surely nothing was left. Jaemin and Jeno had not yet come back downstairs, and Renjun had a thought they might not even come down again, but just cuddle in bed. He would take the hot chocolates to the pair and kids upstairs if he wasn’t 98% sure he would either trip on the stairs or drop something, so he just decided to call the others down when he was done making the hot chocolate. He heard faint whines from upstairs, but eventually four pairs of feet stomped down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Renjun had already put one cup on each place they were going to occupy.

“Thank you hyung!” They all sang in unison, before attacking their mugs, eating away the little marshmallows on top, before gulping down the hot liquid, Jisung complaining how he burned his tongue and Jaemin slapping him to the back of his head, making everyone laugh. Jeno sent Renjun meaningful stares, as he took the now empty mugs to the kitchen counter to put them into the washing machine later, since he unsuccessfully tried to hide the pain on his foot, but Renjun assured him that everything’s fine, when Jaemin also turned his attention to the oldest one in the room.

The rest of the evening went by pretty uneventfully, Renjun finally getting the peace he wanted, plugging his earphones on again, laying down on his bed, now staring at the Polaroid pictures in the ceiling. There were pictures of him with his friends and a few from his hometown, but the ones that always attracted his attention were the ones he’d taken of his two crushes in secret. Of course, the boys had noticed some and complained, but it’s not like they could delete the pictures anymore, when they were already printed out of the camera. The pictures of the two boys sleeping on the sofa cuddling each other was one of the most precious pictures to Renjun. The boys looked so soft and relaxed there, Renjun could spend an entirety just admiring their sleeping faces, wishing he could be part of something as sweet as that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in the beginning is EXO's Don't Go, since Renjun has mentioned it's a song he likes or sth like that :)) 
> 
> Ps. Sorry the story is going forward really slowly, this was supposed to be a oneshot in the beginning, but I got carried away.


	2. Back hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehhe sorry it took longer than I thought to update this... Honestly, this chapter is a bit of a boring one, but bear with me, I'll try to update as soon as I can again... 
> 
> Also sorry for all the possible typos, I'm pretty much constantly sleep deprived, and I've mainly written this on a bus or at night when my brains clearly don't work as well as they should...
> 
> But well, hope you enjoy :)

_I pray for all your love_

_Boy our love is so unreal_

_I just wanna reach and touch you, squeeze you_

_Somebody pinch me (I must be dreamin')_

_This is something like a movie_

_And I don't know how it ends boy_

_But I fell in love with my best friend_

 

The next morning came by way faster than Renjun would’ve wanted it to, and suddenly he was awake at 5:30 to make everyone breakfast. Getting up from the bed had been one hell of a challenge, seeing that the wound on his foot only seemed to get worse, aching and burning just when he moved his foot around, not even talking about how painful it was to try and walk downstairs. Thankfully no one had been awake at that time, so he could use all the time in the world for actually getting up and limping downstairs, where he now was in front of the kitchen counter making everyone breakfast sandwiches. He stood by the counter closest to the fridge, so he wouldn’t have to move any more than necessary, rubbing his eyes open to actually stay awake. It was in no means unusual for him to be the first one awake and making breakfast for the others, but he hadn’t been able to sleep well because of his foot, and someone had been coughing almost all night in the room next to his. Hopefully no one would be getting sick.

Renjun was too dozed off to notice the other person entering the warmly coloured kitchen, so when he turned to put the ingredients back to the fridge and saw a dark-haired human form by the entrance, he got really startled. Jumping slightly and shifting the pressure on his aching foot made him yelp and lift up his leg, quickly putting it down again, when the sleepy looking Jeno glanced down at his feet before walking closer. “Jesus Christ you scared me Jeno! Don’t just come sneaking around like that!!” The older scolded also laughing a bit, smacking Jeno to the shoulder as he came to stand beside Renjun. “I’m already done, so you can go sit-“, Renjun didn’t have time to finish his sentence, when he already felt Jeno’s arms around his middle, head coming to rest on his shoulder, snuggling his face on Renjun’s neck.

“J-Jeno what are you doing?” Renjun stuttered out, stiffening at the other’s touch, feeling his cheeks gain a warm pink colour. Now wouldn’t be a good time to turn around.

“Mmmmmh I just want to stay like this for a bit Junnie”, Jeno mumbled against Renjun’s neck, making shivers run down his spine. Yes, this was what he always wanted for the other to do, but it just didn’t feel right, knowing the other was in a relationship.

“What about Jaemin, won’t he mind you doing this, I’m sure he would prefer having you there to cuddle him right?” Renjun asked, even though he really didn’t want to let Jeno go. He was just starting to relax in the other’s arms, no matter how much he tried not to, and being in the other’s arms made him feel like he should actually tell about the wound on his foot, tell Jeno that he couldn’t dance in the dance practice that would start in less than an hour, but he just couldn’t do it. So he pulled himself apart from Jeno, taking in a long breath, before turning around to look at the now confused looking boy with a smile. “Why don’t you go and wake up the others and I’ll put the breakfast to the table, mmh?” Renjun tried. Jeno looked defeated, Renjun not understanding why, as he turned around and made his way back upstairs to wake up the others. Renjun instead took a few long breaths, before continuing to set up the breakfast for the others.

 

**A conversation in Jeno’s room, where Jaemin had settled for the night, after Jeno came back from the kitchen:**

“Well, how did it go?”

“What do you mean how did it go? I just went to check if he’s fine, he obviously hurt his foot yesterday. You saw yourself how bad his walking was yesterday!”

“Mmmmh that’s true.”

“He didn’t move away from the counter at all, but he did lift his right foot up when I walked into the kitchen and scared him.”

_A meaningful stare from Jaemin._

“Hey, I didn’t mean to do it! He just got startled when he turned around!”

“Anyway, let’s keep an eye on him at the practice.”

“Mmmh we shall do that... But how about the other thing?”

“Oh yeah uhh... I didn’t dare to ask him yet... But I did back hug him, though he just questioned why I did it and pried away. I did see the blush on his face though, so it’s a possibility. He’s probably confused.”

“Mmmh that might be it... Then let’s go slowly.”

 

After having fed all of his fellow members and doing all the other necessities, like cleaning up his wound and changing clothes, Renjun was in the hall putting on his shoes, waiting for Chenle to go through Jisung’s wardrobe for some training clothes, since the boy had forgotten them home, where he usually slept his nights at. Taking care that all the members got out of the house and to the car, Renjun exited the dorm last so that no one would question how slow he walked. He could feel tears prickling in his eyes the closer he walked to the car, which is why he was glad he got a place next to the window, being able to stare out of the window on the way to the company training building.

Sweat was running down Renjun’s face already during the fourth run through, which was basically still only warming up, gaining weird glances from the others and the dance teacher. Cold and warm shivers ran up his legs, making him shake his head now and then. The pain in his foot was slowly getting unbearable, even though it had become kind of numbing, only, that the numb feeling was spreading higher and higher his leg, making him do more and more mistakes.

“Renjun is something wrong? You don’t usually have much troubles, especially with the older choreographies”, their dance instructor spoke up as they had once again had to stop the music due to Renjun falling down.

“N-no I’m fine, we can continue”, Renjun stuttered, wiping the sweat from his forehead. It was becoming increasingly obvious that he most definitely wasn’t okay. He gathered himself from the floor where he had been kneeling at, and got up, legs wobbling a bit, and suddenly he just knew he was going to fall again. Not caring about the ache on his foot, he still stepped forward, his legs giving in immediately, but Jeno, standing there right beside him, caught his arm before he hit the floor. A desperate whine escaped from Renjun’s throat, and he felt like the tears he had been holding back the whole morning would soon make their way down his face.

“Okay Renjun you’re seemingly not okay, so what’s wrong?” The dance instructor walked to where Renjun was now supported by both Jeno and Jaemin, overwhelmed by the attention he was getting.

“He stepped on a piece of glass yesterday when I dropped a mug to the kitchen floor”, Jaemin spoke up before Renjun had the time to gain the courage to lift his head up from gazing the floor. The dance instructor looked at him with a questioning, almost pitiful look in his eyes, as if asking if it was really true. Renjun could only nod, being in loss of words in the awkward situation between his two crushes and the dance instructor.

“Let me see?” The dance instructor asked, and Jaemin helped Renjun down, pulling the latter between his legs leaning Renjun’s back on his chest, making the tension possibly even more awkward, at least in Renjun’s head, and definitely more uncomfortable for Renjun’s already wildly beating heart. The dance instructor had already taken notice of which foot was the aching one was, and was now taking off Renjun’s sock, revealing a nasty bandage the young boy had made in the morning, pouting at the sight of it. Renjun looked away at Donghyuck, who was sitting on his left side with a small pout, not daring to look at anyone else. He didn’t want to look at Jeno, whose gaze he could feel piercing holes to his other side, nor the maknaes sitting against a wall whispering to themselves, looking at the others with a little worried gazes, and he most definitely didn’t want to look at the dance instructor opening the gauche in front of him, already hearing the silent judging from him.

“This... doesn’t look good Renjun... Why didn’t you tell anyone, there’s no way you could dance with this...” The instructor muttered, looking up to Renjun, forcing him to turn his face towards the older. The sight of the man sitting with his bit bloody and wounded foot on his lap just made him cringe, but he made himself hold the gaze at least for a while.

“I just thought I could handle it, it’s not that bad, and it’s not the first time some of us hurts themselves...” Renjun muttered, wanting the floor to swallow him as a whole. He was not supposed to worry his teammates.

“Well, I don’t think it needs stitches, but I strictly prohibit you from walking with that foot at least for the next three days, let it heal a bit, and I’m not going to let you into practises either”, the dance instructors voice was firm, making Renjun quiver a bit, Jaemin tightening his hold around the older boy. “Okay, there’s not really anything else that we could do like this, so Jeno, if you could kindly take Renjun back to your dorm... Actually, you’re all dismissed, I don’t think you will be able to concentrate the rest of the time anyway, and this isn’t the most urgent practise...” A heavy sigh was heard, before the instructor got up and walked to the stereos to turn them off, taking a sip of his water, ushering the boys to go.

And so Renjun was lifted up by strong and warm arms, that he would absolutely love to be wrapped around him, if he just wouldn’t fear for his heart to explode, being so close to the person he adored so much, adding up that the other one owning his heart was walking right next to them, keeping an eye on the two of them. Somewhere behind were the youngest ones, giggling together about how oblivious the oldest of them was to the others’ feelings, no matter how obvious they were trying to be.

Jeno had insisted on keeping Renjun on his lap even in the van since the trip back to the dorm wasn’t especially long, and it was “easier to lift him up” when they arrived. And so it had been like, Jeno keeping his arms tightly around Renjun, carrying him to the dorms and even to the bathroom to let him clean up, Jaemin bringing Renjun a towel and clean clothes, making Renjun just sit on the edge of the bathtub mouth slightly ajar, staring in front of him. _What on earth was this?_

Out in the living room, the maknaes alongside with Donghyuck were waiting for Jeno and Jaemin to come back down, all smirking widely.

“You’re not even trying to be subtle anymore are you?” Chenle asked laughing, seeing Jeno’s bit surprised face beside Jaemin’s knowing one.

“Well, he’s too oblivious to it that there’s really no point”, Jaemin smirked and retreated to the kitchen to get himself a cup of tea, pulling Jeno with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry I'm pretty busy during the autumn now, but I promise to update the next part by the end of October!! 
> 
> I'm already writing it, but I have finals very soon, so I gotta get ready for them~ I'll try my best to update after I'm done with finals~ I promise I've already started writing the third chapter!!
> 
> Thanks for reading this :3 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you see typos in the text, or if you have an idea of what I could write next! At least one sf9 angst is coming up, and I also have two bigger Nct projects too~
> 
> Btw the song in the beginning is slightly changed (literally changed one word) of Jason Chen's Best Friend.


	3. Ginger tea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heheheheh hey again, I finally updated this story after a while :3 
> 
> I've had a pretty busy autumn, and I still have a lot to do, but now I can at least use my english classes to write this since we've been practising some creative writing. Not that the teacher would especially like my doings but not like she actually cared either...
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter even though it's short af, I'm already writing the next chapter so maybe it won't take me as long to update this time.

_Oh every time I see you_  
_When I see your eyes_  
_My heart keeps fluttering_  
_You’re my destiny_  
_The only person I want to protect_  
_Until the end of the world_

 _When you look at me_  
_When you look at me and smile_  
_It feels like my heart will stop_  
_How about you?_  
_It’s really hard for me to handle_  
_All day, I think of you_  
_We went in circles for a long time_  
_But even if it’s now, I’m alright_

 

It was around seven in the morning, when Renjun realised what will happen now. He had woken up to the others moving around the dorm, apparently trying to be as quiet as possible, but of course that wouldn’t work, since Renjun wasn’t especially a heavy sleeper, not in the morning hours at least. He had gotten up, opening his door to see Chenle passing by him, pulling a black & white t-shirt over his head, glancing at Renjun and stopping, once he noticed the questioning look on the other’s face.

“Oh good morning Renjun, do you need something?” Chenle sounded way too bright for this moment.

“Oh no I just... Why did no-one come and wake me up?” The older asked, swiping his hair back a bit so that it wouldn’t cover his eyes. Renjun looked adorable in his light pink flannel-pyjama-pants and grey sweater, the sleeves pulled over his knuckles and hair sticking to every possible direction after a good night sleep. Chenle was tempted to take a picture of the older one, just to send it to Jeno and Jaemin to make them coo.

“We’re going to practice, and you’re not allowed to come there, remember”, Chenle chuckled a bit, tapping his temple gently. “The dance instructor specifically told us to keep you out of there, so you won’t get the temptation to come and dance with us, so you should go back to sleep Injun-ah.” Chenle patted Renjun’s head – making the older wonder when he had grown so tall – before hurrying to the others, leaving a dumbfounded Renjun in front of his room-door.

The day went by like any other free day for Renjun, except for the vocal practice, where his manager came to take him at around 2pm. He had had time to sleep, shower, make some snacks for the others to take with him to the practice, and still he was left with some free time to just stare at his ceiling and the polaroid pictures taped there with matte tape, wondering if any of the images that woke in his mind from staring at the pictures, would ever come true.

The vocal practise was a routine work, like the dance practice would’ve been, so Renjun was... feeling normal, if that’s a way to say it. Not overly enthusiastic, nor really tired either, just content with where he was at the moment. The younger members had been overjoyed when he brought them the small sandwiches he had made – sure to be accustomed to their diets.  
The practice went on smoothly, until it didn’t.

“Jisung is your throat sore? Your voice doesn’t sound like the usual,” their teacher asked, as Jisung coughed a bit.

“Yeah, I think I’m becoming sick... Sorry, I’ll take care of it better from now on”, Jisung half whispered, clearly not in a great condition.

Renjun glanced at him with worried eyes, deciding to make it his daily task to take care of Jisung now that he was clearly getting sick. Once the practice ended and they had all piled up around the kitchen table, ready to eat whatever Renjun and Jaemin were making – that smelt absolutely amazing – Renjun made his way to the kettle, pouring some just boiled water to a cute little cat mug, dropping some lemon drops, powdered ginger and honey there, before adding a bag of green tea, mixing them all together and ordering Jaemin to give it to Jisung, who was now leaning his head on his hand, sniffing every now and then.

“Drink that, it’ll make you feel better. And don’t you dare to spit it out, it’s for your own good”, Renjun instructed after seeing Jisung scrunching his nose.

“Are you trying to poison me hyung? This smells like my throat is going to burn after I drink it”, Jisung whined, making Chenle giggle.

“Maybe I am, you’ll find out once you drink it don’t you”, Renjun said back to the younger, grinning as Donghyuck reached to hit him to his back, almost falling with his chair, if Jeno wouldn’t have pulled him back, making everyone laugh.

 _It’s so domestic... I wish we could always spend time like today, without having someone almost fall asleep on the table or start bickering with some other member.Of course... A certain kind of warmth would be nice..._ Renjun imagined warm hands wrapped around him, engulfing him from both sides, warming him up inside. Light kisses everywhere, where skin was exposed, and even under the soft fabric covering their arms and torso. But that’s just a dream, right?

Renjun’s thoughts were interrupted by Jaemin wrapping his arms around his shoulders, turning him around, away from the counter and towards the table, smiling sickeningly sweetly to him, making Renjun blush furiously in an instant.

“Injun-ah, the food is ready. You seemed to space out, so we put the food on the table, just sit down so we can eat”, Jaemin beamed, hugging Renjun a little tighter and ruffling his hair, before walking to his place beside Jisung. At this point, Donghyuck and Chenle were giggling, sharing knowing glances with each other, making Renjun even more confused of everything that had happened in the past five minutes, slightly afraid that maybe he had said something out loud, or maybe he was being too obvious and someone had realised what he was thinking about. But it could’ve been seen as just him warming himself up with his hands... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Chen x Punch - Everytime
> 
> Honestly, my writing's just getting worse and worse and it gets boring but I also don't want to jump from one thing to another too fast, cause I feel like there's too much happening then.
> 
> If you have suggestions or something you'd like to "see" in this fic later on or f.e in the next chapter, pls tell me so I can make it more interesting for everyone.


	4. Stay in bed

_I smell heartbreak on my hands_

_I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand_

_I see your outline in my bed_

_In the same spot I wathced him rest his head._

 

_You deserve forever_

_Not a boy looking for better_

_But as long as you're still here_

_I'mma try to keep you near._

 

Loud coughing woke Renjun up in the middle of the night, making him unable to fall back to the sweet bliss of sleep, getting slightly irritated by the sound, even though it clearly wasn’t the person’s reason, who was coughing. Renjun had a wild guess it was Jisung, so he got up and wandered towards the room where the sound was coming from, slow due to the wound on his foot. Like he thought, the sound was coming from Jisung’s and Jaemin’s room. Renjun hesitated a bit, before opening the door to the other’s room, trying to keep quiet, even though he knew both of the boys were probably awake – though if he was lucky enough, Jaemin would be sleeping soundly. As he entered the room, he found both of the boys awake, Jaemin rubbing his eyes with his thumbs, opening his mouth to a yawn, sending a shocking impulse through Renjun’s body straight to his heart due to how cute the younger looked like. Renjun limped beside Jisung’s bed, gently sitting on the edge of it, making the younger sit up to a so-called further examination. Renjun placed his hand on Jisung’s forehead, testing if he’d have a fever.

“You don’t seem to have a fever, at least for now, but I’d recommend us checking your condition in the morning, and then deciding whether or not you should go to practice mmh?” Jisung only nodded, leaning to Renjun’s shoulder as the latter tried to coax him up.

“Come on Jisung, I’ll go make you some ginger tea, it’ll be good for your throat”, Renjun whispered, glancing at Jaemin on the other side of the room, almost falling asleep while sitting. It was around 3am, so understandably the others were tired, even though Renjun was already feeling the tiredness seep out of him.

“Jaemin, you should go sleep either with Jeno or my bed, I’ll sleep here with Jisung since I’m participating in the group activities much less so I can take care of him.” Renjun could feel Jisung sending daggers in his way for saying Renjun would have to take care of him, but then again, they all knew Jisung would be glued to Renjun once falling asleep.

It wasn’t long, till Renjun was sitting on the edge of Jisung’s bed again, watching him chug down the mug of bitter washing-water as the younger had called it, taking the mug and placing it on the nightstand beside him once he was done.

“You should sleep now... It’s late, and we still have to check in the morning if you’ll be able to go to the practice. We don’t have anything very specific for now, only Donghyuck has promotions with the 127 unit, but we don’t have something like that, so you could rest.” Renjun whispered, smiling gently and getting up, only to feel a warm hand come up to his sleeve, pulling him down a bit. The older smiled, knowing that this was to come, as he climbed next to the younger, letting the younger wrap his arms around Renjun’s small torso, before pulling the blanket on top of them. Renjun could hear Jisung falling asleep, breathing getting steadier, arms relaxing on top of him, mouth parting slightly. It was an admirable sight, spreading warmth to Renjun’s chest. He wished he would be able to fall asleep like that on someone’s arms.

And oh, if Renjun would just know how the two other youngsters in the room next to Jisung’s one, were wishing for him to be there next to them.

 

* * *

 

_It had been a bit over a week after Renjun’s incident, and he was already back in practice, stretching his legs in front of the mirror, the others messing around before starting the actual dancing. The atmosphere was pretty normal, but something in it felt strange to Renjun. It was almost like he knew something would start happening soon, and that something wouldn’t be so good. He rose up from the floor, shaking his limbs around a bit to relax them, smiling gently to Chenle, who whispered something to Jisung’s ear. The maknae’s smirk, as he looked at the oldest in the room, was somewhat scary, and made chills run down Renjun’s spine. It took him a while to realize, what was happening, feeling like the time had stopped as the maknae opened his mouth, yelling out loud a thing that was supposed to be a secret._

_“Renjun’s in love with Jaemin AND Jeno! Can you imagine how disgusting that is?!” Renjun went pale, feeling the time just stop right there. Everyone in the room started laughing, yelling different kind of things towards Renjun, Jeno quickly coming closer and pushing him against the wall of the practice room, Jaemin following suit._

_“Are you trying to take away my man huh? You’re disgusting! Who would want you? We don’t need a pest like you to be part of our relationship!” Their manager walked in, just looking at everything that was happening, not saying a word._

_“Did you really think we haven’t noticed? Outrageous.” Renjun closed his eyes, waiting for Jaemin’s raised hand to land on his cheek. A loud slap._

Renjun woke up.

He was panting slightly, opening his eyes, staring at the ceiling above, watching the sunlight dance in from between the opened curtains. He moved his right hand a bit, testing the bed beside him only to find it empty already, only silky sheets meeting with his fingertips. Jisung had gotten up. Renjun rose up, quickly looking around the room, still a bit shaken from the dream he’d had, trying to listen to any sounds coming from the house, but everything was dead silent. The others had already left to practice, Jisung skillfully slipping past his hold. Renjun swore Jisung’s plan would backfire at last in the evening. Deciding to make sure to be prepared, he got up this time slowly and limped downstairs to check their medicine storage.

The day was as uneventful as it could get. The Dreamies were supposed to have a radio broadcast, but it was cancelled, so all they had was practice, and some more practice. They did their individual things; Donghyuck coming to drag Chenle and Renjun to vocal practice by two after having lunch all six together, Renjun staying suspiciously quiet, and the other three practising the rap parts in their older songs, before getting slightly bored after a few hours and dragging the vocal line to the practice room again to fool around. Renjun was sitting on the side, watching the others scream and laugh as they danced to other groups’ songs, Jeno and Jisung obviously leading the game, also covering their hyungs’ songs. Renjun was lost in thought, staring in front of him, examining the people in front of him. Jaemin with his fluffy hair bouncing around, smile – mischievous and joyful at the same time – lingering on his lips, eyes glistening as he danced around with Donghyuck and Chenle, interrupting the two main dancers. Jeno with his well-formed body, muscles obvious to any bystander, veins running wild from the back of his hand to his elbows, making Renjun want to trace his fingers on top of them, knowing the other’s skin would be soft as ever, eyes turning into crescents as the taller would look down at Renjun’s fingers. Renjun wanted to sink underground, most definitely not wanting to think of these things right in front of the people of his thoughts, when the dream from last night was still fresh in his mind and he very well knew how pink his cheeks looked like at the moment, almost compatible to Jisung's reddish face, that Renjun only now noticed. 

"Jisung-ah, come here", he commanded, motioning the maknae next to him as the latter stopped dancing for a moment as they changed the song, placing the back of his hand on the younger's forehead. "Yep, you're definitely running a fever, you're not gonna dance any longer. In fact, I think we should all return home right?" Renjun was already getting up, collecting his stuff, when the message reached the others. They were all a bit dumbfounded by the sudden turn of events, Jeno running to turn off the music, Renjun already halfway out of the door. It was strange really, Renjun didn't think controlling his emotions would be so hard, but when Jisung came to crouch down right in front of him with a smile so similar to the one in Renjun's dream, he couldn't help but feel like it's actually going to happen, that he's actually going to embarrass himself in front of everyone. So he rushed out, messaging their manager to come and pick them up, limping to the back door (where they went out of) to lean against the wall, not yet going out since that would just be unnecessary. The rest of the members were left confused to the practice room with Jisung standing by the door, Jaemin quickly walking next to him, as Donghyuck and Jeno looked at each other, deciding that Donghyuck would go after Renjun, since this most definitely wasn't something ordinary. 

"Well, Renjun wasn't wrong, you seem to be having a fever, maybe it's just better that all of us are going home", Jaemin pondered, still seeming troubled by something. "Did... Did Renjun say something to you Jisung? Or did he look at you somehow differently?"

"No? At least I didn't notice anything different, I think. He's been a bit of a mom lately anyway, so I didn't really pay attention to it. He just got up and left, which is not anything like him", Jisung wondered, being left staring at the couple and his best friend who all wore the same expression on their faces, before they shrugged their shoulders, gathering everyone's stuff from the floor, including Renjun's and Donghyuck's, that were left on the floor as they had left, before they continued to the corridor to accompany their two other groupmates. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Troye Sivan - Gasoline (It kinda represents how Renjun thinks his relationship with Jeno and Jaemin will be like, how he'll be heartbroken so he doesn't talk to them too much, and his fears of what could happen)
> 
> Thanks for reading and being patient with me, I'm trying to write as much as possible, but I can mainly only use my english lessons to write something, since I have so much stuff to do in my free time.
> 
> Christmas is getting closer, so I'm planning on possibly writing a christmas oneshot (this time an actual oneshot) of some pairing, not really sure whether it'll be Nct etc, and it might not even come true.
> 
> I'm also ambitious about turning my roleplay (with my friend with our oc's) into a story so we'll see whether that'll happen or not.


	5. Author's note

Heya! 

I know it's pretty unnecessary for me to write this author's note, but I still wanted to properly explain stuff.

I've barely updated this fic, even though it's not even supposed to be long, but it has taken me almost 3/4 of a year to publish 4 chapters, and I feel sorry for that.

The 5th chapter is nearly ready, but I just haven't had the motivation to open my laptop and actually concentrate on writing something. That, because I actually want to concentrate more than I did on the previous chapters, since I feel like the story isn't going exactly like I want it to, and I'm not showing all my potential in it. 

I'm on my last year of high school (all you who know the American type of high school, ours is not like that, it's kinda like college in a sense) and it's stressing me out quite much. I have finals coming up in 3-6 weeks and I can only hope to get good grades from all 5 subjects I have left to write...

So, in conclusion, I will try my best to update this after my finals are done, cause then I can properly think without stressing that I'm not using all my time on school work. 

Thank you for your support and patience, let's all do our best this spring💪🏼

\- Em


	6. Love is complicated

_The weight_

_Of a simple human emotion_

_Weighs me down_

_More than the tank ever did_

 

_And I don't want to let this go_

_I don't want to lose control_

_I just want to see the stars with you._

 

 A breath of fresh air met Renjun as he exited the backdoor of the company building, standing outside by the door to wait for the manager to arrive. He had heard the door of the practice room open, immediately rushing out, not wanting to see the others after leaving like that, embarrassing himself. He couldn't fulfil his plan of avoiding his members though, thanks to Donghyuck, who made himself heard as he stepped out of the door behind Renjun, coming to stand next to him still in light clothing that would definitely get him sick if Jisung didn't manage to do that. 

"Renjun-ah, are you alright? You've been acting a bit strange today." Donghyuck placed his hand on Renjun's shoulder, turning slightly towards the other to see his face, though Renjun refused and turned his head slightly to not show all of his face to Donghyuck, which made the other even more concerned. 

"Yes Donghyuck, I'm fine, just didn't sleep especially well", Renjun said, now turning to face his teammate. Donghyuck could see how much the older was battling with himself to show the relaxed, cold facade to hide his true feeling. The look he was trying to achieve was so cold it could've made Donghyuck shiver if it wasn't for the gentle brown eyes that stared into his own, showing the fragile boy the younger ought to see. 

"No, you're clearly not fine Renjun, and it's useless to pretend so", Donghyuck spoke up, tightening his hold on Renjun's shoulder, wanting to reassure the other that it was indeed fine to say he was not fine or tell him his worries. Heck, they were best friends, but the older still struggled with being able to tell about his feelings to the other. 

"Why did you ask then, if you knew the answer?", Renjun knew he was definitely not speaking gently anymore, but at the moment he couldn't tolerate even his best friend, who was clearly just trying to be nice (for once). "Look I just-", Renjun's sentence was cut in the middle, as their manager parked the van in front of the boys, motioning for them to get in. Renjun quickly shut his mouth, limping to the front seat before anyone else, as the rest of the members rushed out of the door and towards the car, sending questioning looks to Donghyuck, who only looked at them cluelessly. Even the manager noticed something different in the atmosphere, asking the oldest in the front seat how their day had been like, and how was he feeling. Renjun spoke like nothing had happened, smiling and telling their manager how Jisung was running a fever and they'd have to prohibit him from going to practice the next few days, and how Renjun himself could stay home with the boy, the manager agreeing, seeing they had already finished everything important few weeks back, and the next proper schedules would only start in three weeks. In the backseat, Jisung was leaning against the window jacket tightly closed, Chenle's beanie pulled - the other had demanded Jisung to take it as he had exited towards his mom's car - on as the others glanced at each other with varying expressions, all of them trying to express the confusion they had towards the oldest's actions, that were pretty much contradictory to his actions earlier. 

Upon arriving to the dorm, Renjun waited for the others to get out of the car, before following suit, watching over Jisung like a hawk, even though the younger clearly expressed that his fever was not especially high and that he was feeling just fine, not in need of all the fussing he knew he would face back in the dorm. Not to anyone's surprise, Renjun immediately ordered Jisung to be the first one to take a shower, meanwhile, he went to the kitchen to prepare for some soup for Jisung - and the rest of the members, but at this state, he was not ready to admit it - with the help of Donghyuck, who voluntarily waddled behind him regardless of the cold looks the older was trying to send his way. Jeno and Jaemin instead - from Donghyuck's pleads - slipped into Jeno's room to improve their plan on how to seduce their best friend. The plan itself sounded way more... well, seductive, than it was originally supposed to be, and the boys - regardless of the name of the plan - were trying their best not to be intrusive. They had told the other members that they were trying to be subtle, but in reality, both of them were quite impatient, leading to the actions they were going to take next.

Meanwhile in the kitchen:

"Renjun-ah, tell me, what's wrong? You've been acting weird the whole day." Donghyuck tried to pry the information out of the slightly older male who was currently taking out ingredients for dinner, quite furiously in Donghyuck's point of view. "You're gonna break something if you continue like that you know", the younger said while leaning on the kitchen island, a small competitor inside him feeling as though he had won, as the older set down the last cup on the kitchen counter, sighing loudly as he buried his fingers in his currently brown hair. 

"Will you ever stop asking you brat?" Renjun sighed, taking out the pots and pans he'd need for the food, before starting to cut the vegetables, leaving a dumbfounded Donghyuck to his own silence. Donghyuck was mad, well, maybe mad was an understatement, he was mad and worried for his best friend, seeing how distressed the other looked. Of course, there was the fact that he couldn't dance or barely even walk around normally, but it was not enough of a reason for the latter to act as he did. Something was wrong, and Donghyuck was determined to find out what. So he walked behind Renjun, wrapping his arms around the small boy's middle, hoping to get an answer out of him like that. 

"Donghyuck-ah, if you can't be a help in the kitchen, why don't you go check how Jisung's doing, I'm sure he's out of the shower already", Renjun said after a while of letting his best friend warm his cold body. To be honest, the warmth radiating from Donghyuck felt nice, he was like a radiator and at this state, Renjun was desperate for human contact, whether he liked to admit it or not. 

"No, I'm determined to find out what's wrong with you." 

"Everything's fine! I already told you!" Renjun never raised his voice, and by never, Donghyuck of course didn't mean never ever, but he rarely shouted at anyone from anger. Realising what he had done, Renjun clasped a hand over his mouth, backing against the counter and sliding down on the floor, despite his shirt getting stuck in the drawer knobs catching his breath, hand still on his mouth, eyes staring in front of him with an empty gaze. Donghyuck frowned, crouching down next to his friend, pulling the smaller boy into his arms. That's when Renjun broke. It had only been one day, he told himself, yet he was so weak to break in Donghyuck's gentle hold. 

"It's okay Injun-ah, just let it out, I'm here", Donghyuck whispered, running his other hand through the elder's hair, keeping the other hand on his back rubbing small circles, letting the smaller boy's tears wet his shirt. "Would you now tell me what's wrong Injun-ah? You can't expect me to even try and believe you anymore." The elder just sniffled and hiccuped, shaking his head against the other's chest while grasping the soft material in his fists. "C'mon Injun, just tell me something. Is this about your foot?" Renjun shook his head. "Then what is it?"

Renjun took a moment to gather himself, slowly letting go of Donghyuck's shirt, rubbing his eyes and tear-streaked cheeks but not moving away from Donghyuck's grasp. "I just had a nightmare last night, it's nothing to be worried about, I was just a bit shaken." Renjun tried his best to get out of the situation, starting to get up, but not really having the strength to do so, so he ended up just leaning on Donghyuck, as the younger helped him up. 

"I don't think it was just nothing to be worried about, seeing your condition now, but I'll let it be for now since you're not willing to tell me hmm? What about I finish cooking and you go take a shower and rest a bit, I'll wake you up when dinner's ready?" Renjun was clearly about to protest, since Donghyuck cut him off, again. "Yes, I'll make sure Jisung is fine and he takes his medicine and comes to eat dinner with us don't worry, just go, shush", Donghyuck chuckled a bit as he shooed Renjun out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom, which was surprisingly empty. Maybe it had truly taken more than he thought in the kitchen. 

 

* * *

 

Renjun was quick to fall asleep after drying himself with a soft terry cloth and wrapping himself up in his most comfortable pajamas under the thick blanket in his **own** bed. He didn't even have time to gaze at the polaroid pictures and small stars illuminating in the dark before he was already sent to dreamland. 

Intensifying shaking and multiplying voices were that finally woke Renjun up from his slumber. He'd had such a peaceful dream, nothing like the one the night before and he would've gladly wanted to continue it if it wasn't for his younger members shaking him awake. 

"Do we really have to wake him up? He looks so cute like that, maybe he can eat when he wakes up?" That was Jaemin?

"No Jaemin, he has to come down to eat with us, Hyuck said he really needs that." And that was most definitely Jeno. Renjun flinched from the thought alone that they had seen him in his most vulnerable state just moments ago. Even though it was nothing new, they had even slept together before, and by far they had already lived a few years together, this was just not the moment Renjun would've wanted them to be there, so he moved away from the warm hand on his shoulder, throwing the blanket aside to get up. 

"Woah okay you're awake, great! Hyuck said dinner's ready so let's go!" Jaemin exclaimed next to his bed, meanwhile Jeno was leaning on the doorframe, hands crossed on his chest, smiling slightly at Renjun's be hair. Renjun turned to look down, not wanting to see neither of the stunning men in his room right now. 

"Yeah I'm awake, you can go already, I'll come after you." The eldest in the room mumbled, knowing fully well the other two understood him like that too. When no movement was made, he lifted his gaze on the two boys looking at him with something akin to worry maybe?

"No, I'm pretty sure Hyuck told us specifically to wait for you to come down with us, so we aren't leaving till you're coming with us." Jeno deadpanned from the door, shifting slightly as though hesitating whether or not to come closer. He and Jaemin glanced at each other before they looked at Renjun again. Renjun was getting slightly frustrated at their stubbornness.

"Injun-ah, is everything alright?" Jaemin asked, gently moving his hand on Renjun's knee, making the older boy want to move away again, but deciding against his desires. 

"Why is everyone so damn adamant on asking that? I'm perfectly fine so please let's just go to eat." Getting even more frustrated at the situation Renjun got up from bed almost forgetting his hurting foot, starting to make his way downstairs past a bit confused Jeno, not even bothering to change out of his pajamas. Sitting at the dinner table Renjun knew he was being childish. Not that he wasn't normally a bit childish, but this was just more noticeable, yet he didn't want to do anything about it. He was slightly ashamed of his actions especially towards his two love interests, but he couldn't apologize quite yet. 

Despite the sulking Renjun, who got curious looks from the youngest of the group and more worrying looks from the trio he had already encountered in the past few hours at home, the dinner went peacefully. Jisung was starting to look more and more feverish, so after dinner was done and the oldest had ordered Jeno and Jaemin to do the dishes, he started fussing around the maknae giving him some medication, tugging him in bed, bringing a cold towel on his forehead and making sure everything was okay with him before the oldest himself dragged his sheets to Jaemin's bed to be able to stay close to their maknae. 

Judging from Jisung's peacefully rising chest anticipated this to be a calm night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: Troye Sivan - The Fault In Our Stars
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with me and with this story. I'm starting to get rid of my writer's block and I also finished my finals 1.5 weeks ago so I've had time to properly refresh and sleep, so maybe from now on I'll publish more often. 
> 
> I basically have nothing planned for my future since it's very unsure whether I'll get a job or not with this corona thing going on, so now I can just sit home and I'm pretty sure I'll get more inspiration to continue writing because of this.
> 
> If you're bored, feel free to message me ideas for this story or some possible oneshot, I mainly write about Nct (WayV included), Seventeen, Monsta X and Sf9 but can do others too. You can also message me to just chat for fun, I love interacting with people from all over the world! My ig is: @idek.me.anymore
> 
> ALSO if you're a fan of whole NCT or even if you weren't, check my other story "I wanna see the stars with you". It's by far my favourite story I've written. 
> 
> Good luck to all those who are struggling with school or work or life in general at this weird time of our lives, let's hope this will get better soon!
> 
> Please take care of yourselves everyone!


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